"hyggelig" kobenhavn

it's my turn

i've been reading several blogs religiously for the past few months. some are friends, some are marketing, some are people whose lives touch mine and they have no idea, and some are artsy. oh, and of course, some are celebrity gossip...sometimes those are the best - mindless and superficial. and when i find one that i like, i usually check it daily or at least every couple days. then when they take a break, or just don't feel like writing, or go out of town, i feel frustrated. so, i decided, that in case there is anyone still checking in on this one (i don't blame anyone for giving up on mine!), i would take a turn and do an update.

life has been interesting ... to say the least. i've been having this "thing" lately where my heart just starts racing all of a sudden and i can feel it in my chest. i have to inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale slowly a few times and then it usually goes away. i know what it is. i know that it's my enemy - stress. and i know if he keeps hanging around i'm going to get sick - i always get sick when i'm stressed. i've also been having a hard time winding down at night. i just have so many things buzzing around in my brain that it doesn't want to shut off. so i've been trying to let some things go and trying to take a little calmer approach to life these days.

what's been stressing me out you might ask? school. that's easy. but also, well, life. i am at this crossroads, if you will, and i have to decide if i want to go left or right, or forward or backward. i have to figure out what i want to do now that i have to get a "big girl job" and not just that, but where do i want to live? in the u.s. or try another country? should i stay in so. cal. or try a new state? should i go back to kansas or maybe somewhere else in the midwest? chicago perhaps? do you see?...stress.

so, i have been working on the job search, but i've come to the realization that it's just not going to happen before graduation. i've also decided that i need some down time and i want to go back to kansas city for a stint at least. i'm also realizing that i only have about 6 weeks left of california, so i'd best get my beach time in...it may be the last time i live this close to an ocean. i'm trying to take time to enjoy being a "college student" for the last time and enjoy the freedom from the 8-5. i'm also exploring some of my interests - i have scheduled "sewing lessons" with my mom when i get home.

i'm still getting the heart palpitations from time to time and the restlessness at night, but not to the same degree as i was a month ago. the more relaxed approach to the job search combined with the beach time and me time (and a little social time too) has helped out a lot. just three and a half weeks ... and counting.

so there you go (if there are any of "you" out there), that's my update.

posted by kaddie @ 7:21 PM